Every Sex and the City episode ranked from worst to best

satc16

hbo.com

Carrie: ‘Great love, what does that even mean?’
Charlotte: ‘It means a love that changes you, that shakes you to your core, after which you’re never the same.’

For many women of a certain generation, Sex and the City was a ‘great love’ – and, it can be argued, we were never the same. The show first came into my life when I was the impressionable age of 16. I wanted to be a writer, had no idea about boys and spent all my money on the latest boob tubes and pedal pushers to hit Miss Shop.

Sex and the City spoke to me, which, now that I think about it, was part of its problem – teenagers could relate to Carrie and, to a certain extent, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. I can’t help but wonder what 30 something women thought of them back then.

These days, some of us talk about SATC like an ex that disappointed us but still holds a place in our hearts. So here, like a mix tape, is my inconsistent, messy and completely subjective list of every SATC episode ranked from worst to best, chronicling my love-hate relationship with a show that both influenced and infuriated me.

94. Ring a Ding Ding

Also known as the episode where Carrie has money problems, this is the one I love to hate. Following Carrie’s break up with Aidan, he gives her 30 days to come up with the money to buy her apartment. She suddenly realises she’s spent $40,000 on shoes and, after failing to get a bank loan, visits Big.

In other words, she goes to her ex – the very reason for her most recent break up – wearing what the Instagram account ‘Every Outfit on SATC’ informs me is ‘head-to-toe Chanel’ to childishly and helplessly say, ‘You know money, I want you to teach me what you know about money.’ I’m not exactly on top of my finances, but even I know the basic principles of saving and that spending $400 a pop on 100 Manolo Blahniks equals $40,000.

Kate Erbland articulates her rage at this episode a lot better and in more detail than me in her article for Film School Rejects. If you have a similar opinion, I suggest you check it out.

On a side note, wouldn’t Richard’s personal shopper have been fired anyway for writing ‘Love Richard’ on the card?

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Seinfeld Unsolved

seinfeld

sonypicturesmuseum.com

Seinfeld was the master of its domain when it came to presenting and solving mundane mysteries. As it turned out, Jerry wasn’t invited to Tim Whatley’s party, George’s LeBaron convertible wasn’t previously owned by John Voight the actor, the creepy guy from the Subway made the Elaine mannequin and it was McDowell who spat on Kramer and Newman.

However, there were a few mysteries that remained unsolved …

1. Why didn’t Audrey taste the pie?

As Jerry summarised – ‘that’s one for the ages.’ Was she full? No. Was she averse to pastry? No. Did she witness something unhygienic going on at the coffee shop? She couldn’t have. Kramer later saw her eating the very same pie in the very same coffee shop. However, the fact that Audrey acted a little defensive when probed meant something was off that day she didn’t taste the pie. To quote Jerry, ‘why can’t we know?’

Possible explanation

Maybe she didn’t want to eat from the same fork as Jerry. The other explanation is that perhaps she really was a ‘psycho.’ According to the woman Jerry spoke to at the coffee shop, you’d have to be to refuse a bite of your friend’s pie without an explanation. I’d love to know other people’s theories!

2. Why did Christie always wear the same dress?

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New book coming soon…

Buying the whole CD just to listen to one song. Butterfly clips. Shark clips. Slip dresses worn over tight t-shirts. Tencel jeans. JTT. The truth is out there. Chat rooms. Chunky streaks. Crushed velvet. Picking your favourite Spice Girl. Cardigans with faux-fur collars. The rhythm of the night. Rhythm is a dancer. Lip Smackers. ‘The Rachel’ haircut. Elizabeth Arden’s Sunflowers perfume. Nick Carter. Devon Sawa. Everyone owned a copy of Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. Grunge. Hip hop. Goths. The golden era of boy bands. Britney or Christina? Zig-zag metal headbands that dug into your head. Rollin’ with the homies. Choosing between Brandon and Dylan. I’ll never let go. Recording the top 40 on a cassette tape and pressing pause when the ads come on. Jelly sandals. Tamagotchis. MMMBop. Overalls. Mini backpacks. Mood rings. And last but not least – chokers.

Can you guess which decade I’m talking about? My upcoming novel will take you there.

Chapter one coming soon to Wattpad

“On Wednesdays We Wear Pink”: The Best Girl Cliques of Pop Culture

meangirls

Paramount

1. The Plastics – Mean Girls

Mean Girls certainly wasn’t the first movie to put a girl clique at the front and centre of the action, but it was the first (unless you count Heathers) to blatantly shine a spotlight on the politics and psychological tactics needed to keep a girl clique up and running – think intimidation, bitchy three-way phone conversations, keeping secrets, burn books and rigid rules around dress and behaviour. That’s because Tina Fey’s screenplay was based on Rosalind Wiseman’s self-help book Queen Bees and Wannabes. The result was comedy gold that often cut a little too close to the bone.

Hierarchy: Janis’ observation that “evil takes a human form in Regina George” wasn’t far off the mark when she described the school’s resident queen bee and if Mean Girls was Game of Thrones, Gretchen Wieners would totally be the hand of the queen. In fact, when there was disturbance in the realm with Regina’s “army of skanks”, Gretchen used another old world battle analogy to vent her frustration: “Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become OK for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!” Karen Smith would be, like, the queen’s servant girl, or something.

Dress Code: The Plastics wore pink on Wednesdays, they couldn’t wear sweatpants on a Monday and let’s not forget how Gretchen was forbidden from wearing gold hoops. Offences were punishable with banishment from their lunch table.

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Five Reasons Why Elaine Benes is Queen of the Castle

Julia Louis-Dreyfus recently posed naked on the cover of Rolling Stone with the Constitution printed on her back (no nipples were exposed, though).

From all accounts, the interview she gave to Rolling Stone was apparently pretty awesome. When asked about sexism in Hollywood, she responded by saying, ‘There is sexism…I’m not denying its existence. But I’m saying that I will deny its effort against me. I just pay it no nevermind and say, ‘Get out of my way’’. Right there is yet another reason why you gotta looooooooooove the Dreyfus!

Photo: Twitter @OfficialJLD

Photo: Twitter @OfficialJLD

It is this same gusto that she brought to the iconic role of Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes, a character that epitomises what we mean when we talk about strong, independent women of the ‘90s… and today, in fact. In 2014, we can still hold Elaine up as an – admittedly dubious in some aspects – role model.

I mean, sure, she wasn’t really all about the sisterhood, preferring coffee shop lunches with the boys to Sex and the City-like brunches (at which she probably wouldn’t be caught dead), and trying to one-up Sue Ellen Mischke. And she wasn’t always the nicest person in the world, becoming more hardened, jaded and apathetic as the series progressed. However, there were plenty of other qualities that, to this day, make her the queen of the castle.

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